Stimulus Package goes to Golf Carts, Wednesday October 28, 2009

Did you know that a part of America's "stimulus" money is going towards golf carts? ? Yes it is true. Good Morning America reported that golf cart businessman, Bill Morgan, has been in business for a dozen years but he's never seen his golf carts fly off the shelves, as some might say, so quickly.
So people are buying electric, street-legal golf carts. Like this one.

GMA also felt the need to report that "The economy is not good for golf right now". Hmmm I wonder why....

It's all thanks, he said, to the federal government. The bailout bill that last year helped keep the U.S. banking system afloat also contained lesser-known provisions to benefit other industries, including the electric car business.

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When Bush ran the country, their Emergency Economic Stabilization Act made buying a plug-in motor vehicle eligable for a tax credit of at lease 2,500$ plus additional cash depending on the cars battery capacity. But now President Obama is running the country but that didn't really change anything, in this matter. The 787 billion dollar stimulus package contains similar arrangements.

Now don't get confused, the Iternal Revenue Service said that NEVs (neighborhood electric vehicles) will not get this major tax credit if they are primarily for the golf course.

When it comes of our wealth of knowledge friend, Mr. Morgan, he said the battery capacity on the twelve different cars he sells qualifies them for tax credits of 5,335 dollars each. That basically means that you maybe pay 2,000 to 4,000 dollars for the average cart. Yes they are still carts.

In recent months, he and golf car dealers across the country have been advertising the tax credit as an incentive to get buyers in the door -- and it's working, they say (GMA).

But just so you know, if you are interested in purchasing a golf cart before the tax year runs out and Chicago's fierce winter, these street-legal golf carts include safety features such as headlights, seat belts, parking brakes, and driver's side mirrors. They can reach a maximum speed of 25 miles per hour but individual states decide which roads they can travel on, so watch out! Policemen on segways are out there!

So this whole hype on golf carts is part of the 6%, yes, six percent, of the 787 billion dollars the government has spent so far. But, as they always say, big things are coming!
One of those big things is giving the American Canadian border houses an extra boost. One of those houses, which is on a street that sees "two cars per day" is getting 15 million dollars. Now Texas is a little mad about that because they get 20,000 vehicles per day over the American Mexican border.

Beatnik Babble Broadcast wants to know, will our government ever grow a brain? Maybe they can go see a wizard about that, but its unlikely he'll have anything small enough.
After two days of GMA trying to get an interview with the governor way up derr, they decided to stop in. As always there's the hard question of "Why didn't you want to talk to us in the first place" and then there's the answer, "We've been talking to you guys for months". Well not about this fishy stimulus money. Their answer was that the Southern border gets all the attention and in montana alone there is 500 and some miles of border that needs protection post 9/11. OF COUURRRSSEEE. It's because of 9/11, eight years after the fact.
So all in all, our stimulus package is giving itself away to [most likely] corrupt governors who wish to spend 77 million (just in Montana) on their border. It is also going towards golf carts. Maybe I'll buy one and be one of the two cars to pass the border that day, I've never been to Canada.
Moral of the day: Buy an extremely warm hat, coat, gloves, and then a golf cart. Tell yourself your "saving money" in this great investment. Don't lick any part of the car in the winter months.

Watch out for those tickets, Monday October 26, 2009

If you have a car in Chicago, you better be weary. Reported by the RedEye, Chicago's percentage of parking meter violations has risen 26% this year already. And just so you know, the area in and around the Loop accounts for half of that increase.

ABC 7 News reports:

Records show about 327,650 tickets were issued in the first eight months of the year for expired meters or overstaying a pay-and-display spot. That's up from fewer than 260,000 in the same period of 2008.

This "ticket blitz" as its being called, has accumulated around 7 million dollars in revenue for the city. These well-earned dollars go directly to our depleted general fund.

So what does that money go towards? Well one thing is, as stated by the Chicago Tribune "The city budgeted for additional parking enforcement staff in September 2008, and 32 personnel were added in late 2008 and early 2009".

But why are they ticketing so much? Well somebody has to pay for the CTA, the libraries, the school systems, the many festivities Chicago has to offer, among other things. All understandable.

But my question is, why weren't they doing this in the first place? Did they not realize that people who drive are usually idiots who don't care about the parking meter? Why now, are they cracking down when, as reported since this year, the city could have made millions of dollars to make up for its huge expenditures cough the Chicago Olympic bid cough.

Therefore, by riveting and precise analysis, Beatnik Babble Broadcast has hypothesized that the city of Chicago is not in the right concerning the matter of the parking blitz. We have assessed the situation and demand that the old parking way of life be restored and the money taken from said idiots be returned. Our conclusion is that it is not fair to make a sudden change in ticket traffic, targeting the unaware Chicagoans.

Moral of the day: Don't own a car in Chicago. If you do own a car, buy a mobile parking spot, they make them small enough to fit in purses, handbags, and murses, not wallets.

FDA Crack Down on Our Favorites, Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Have you ever seen these guys? Any child who has a memory of pre-2007 probably does (since the nation's child obesity issue has gotten way out of hand). These cartoons have been around forever to entice the hearts and appetites of many Americans but in recent years have been taken off the tv air waves.



Since cereal companies such as Kelloggs now cannot put up their cartoon mascot anymore, how do they get their cereal bought? They entice the parents by using an assortment of company created symbols that basically mean "I'm a healthy choice, pick me!"



These are just a few of the manufacturer made creations convincing parents that cereal like Froot Loops is a healthy choice. In a report on the Good Morning America Show,

"Smart Choices is one of the many programs developed by grocery stores, scientists, health organizations and manufacturers themselves to steer health-conscious shoppers to supposedly nutritional products. But the government is stepping in and cracking down, saying the different systems are too confusing. The Food and Drug Administration says it will analyze labels to make sure they are not misleading and is hoping to develop a nutritional gold standard for products that manufacturers want to label as healthy."

Michael Jacobson, a executive director for Center for Science in the Public Interest said, "When you have 40 percent sugar, can you imagine that? Half the box with grain and half of the box with sugar, that's not such a smart choice."

Now why would these top cereal companies want to call their products healthy when they aren't? Oh you know, to trick the parents into buying it, it's basically what all companies do. But when contacted, Kelloggs started defending their labeling, which they say was, "was developed during an open and lengthy collaborative process that included some of the most experienced and accomplished professionals in nutrition science."

Doesn't that kind of remind you of a murder case where the prosecution hires someone who expertly and knowledgeably assess the defendant as sane and the defense hires a different person who expertly and knowledgeably assess the defendant as insane?

Anyway, Mike Hughes, the chairman of the Smart Choices Program, one of many, said that the label, "complies with all U.S. laws and regulations. So now the FDA is employing their all-powerful scholarly brain to, as said before, create a gold standard that cereal companies have to level up to in order to keep their nutrition sticker.

If this ends up being like the time where they introduced Trix as little balls and slowly but surely removed the previous beautifully shaped watermelon, grape, and orange (especially the red and blue flower looking one) delicious version, many people may cry, including me.
Not only are these labels used on cereal but also items like Kraft's Strawberry Bagelfuls which are filled with not-so-healthy cream cheese and strawberry puree, sweetened with sugar with an added dash of red dye for looks.
That little green label down there, calls it a Smart Choice.
The GMA Show also stated, "While the labels are voluntary and developed by the industry, they are subject to federal guidelines under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act of 1938, which prohibits 'false or misleading claims and restrict[s] nutrient content claims to those defined in FDA regulations.'"
What gets me is this guy Richard Kahn, one of the Smart Choices Board members, who says, "our program is entirely transparent. The criteria have been published and available to all Americans." Yes, we get that its available, but it's not something a mother thinks to do when she's food shopping and sees a label that says/means healthy. It's kind of like McDonalds, for example, doesn't broadcast the calorie count and nutritional facts all over their packaging, but you can ask for a brochure with the information. But you have to ask.
And hey, I'm not saying Froot Loops, Captain Crunch, Lucky Charms, and Count Chocula are healthy or aren't healthy. I personally eat them because they are delicious and my stomach tells me to.

So as the saga unfolds, let us see what kind of monarchy rule the FDA will come up with.


Moral of the day: When you get Captain Crunch with Berries, eat all the berries by color, and then enjoy the slightly crunchy milk-filled goodness of the little yellow bits.

Balloon Boy Hoax, October 19, 2009

This is the balloon that caused millions of hearts all over the country to cringe as they watched the news unfold. Six year old Mr. Falcoln Heene (balloon boy) was thought to be in a basket attached to this balloon flying by himself.

His father, Richard Heene, made this make-shift balloon out of tarps, cardboard, string, and duct tape. He was later found out to be an aspiring actor and insistent on getting his own "mad-scientist" reality show.

By the way, I saw this family on the show Wife Swap and this guy is insane. He's a crazy, over-angry, immature jerk.

This is him
^^^on Wife Swap getting in an over dramatic fight with his new wife acting like a child. Anyway, as the whole country held its breath, Falcoln was later found in a basket in the garage of the Heene family home. This caused much controversy due to the fact that the Heene Family called the news channel before they talked to police. Errr? It wasn't until the Larry King show that the family really got into hot water. As they were discussing the "terrible event" little Falcoln said, "We did this for the show" followed by Daddy's "phhh man..." and Mommy's timid, "noo...".



Way to go Falcoln! Poor little guy was to be so stressed out by the media attention, reports ABC's Good Morning America, that he was throwing up, shame on you parents!

Now investigators, after searching their house, finding documents on the computer laying out the stunt, and questioning the parents for five hours, are looking to file felony charges for endangering their children and for conspiracy.

This obviously ranks with the Apollo moon landing conspiracy, global warming conspiracy, and the false-flag 911 conspiracy. Now America is asking for a public apology from dear Richard for causing the deaths of two women, apparently both 118 years old, due to heart attacks (it appears only oe of them had a heart attack due to the balloon boy and the other followed suit because she didn't want to watch tv alone so only one apology necessary in that remark), and for wasting their God given time.

Moral of the day: Don't marry crazy people. Stay away from actors. Realize that your publicity stunt will be stunted by Micheal Jackson and Anna Nicole Smith.

State Ban on Handheld Cell Phones in California, Wednesday October 14, 2009

"GET TO THE CHOPPER! NOW!" That's the Arnold Schwarzenegger I remember. But these days he's the almighty governor of California. But back to the news, last year Mr. Schwarzenegger signed a law that prohibits handheld cell phone use while driving a vehicle.
Some states, including Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, and Washington as well as California have committed themselves to making the roads a safer place by ridding them of over-talkative soccer-moms on cell phones (we swear it's a fact, not stereotype). If you would like to read all about driving laws, please direct yourself here.
It's not Arnold who is in the hot water (maybe just the lukewarm "cause and effect" water) it's his wife, Maria Shriver who apparently violated the state ban.

Celebrity Web site TMZ.com posted two photos and a video Tuesday each showing Shriver holding a cell phone to her ear while behind the wheel on three separate occasions. Retribution for the violation may come from no less than the state's top elected official, her husband.

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On his Twitter feed Tuesday afternoon, Schwarzenegger wrote to TMZ.com founder Harvey Levin: "Thanks for bringing her violations to my attention. There's going to be swift action."And please, if you do not click on any other links, look at this twitter, it's hilarious.

Hours later, TMZ added a video it says was shot Tuesday in Brentwood, Calif., where the family lives. It briefly shows Shriver behind the wheel of a large black SUV and holding a cell phone to her ear. She spots the camera and oops! She tries to hide the phone below the wheel.
Reports ABC News, Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear says that by "swift action," the governor means he'll ask his wife not to hold the phone while driving, but there could be monetary consequences as well. Since he signed the bill, the California Highway Patrol has issued more than 150,000 citations, according to The Associated Press. That figure does not include citations issued by local police. State fines for driving while using a handheld device are $20 for the first ticket and $50 for subsequent tickets, plus additional fees.

The first lady's office declined to comment on the incident when reached by The Associated Press. Of course.

Here at Beatnik Babble Broadcast, we have ideally found a solution for Mrs. Shriver



Cellrderm will provide anyone needing special attention an antidote to their cell phone overuse disease! This product is not FDA approved.

Moral of the day: Leave your cell phone at home for a day. It will cleanse your inner being, except it won't kill you (unlike other recent stories).

Spiritual Retreat Death, Monday October 12, 2009

"It was supposed to be part of a spiritual retreat" says one of Good Morning America's hosts, "more than sixty people huddled around steaming fire heated rocks, in a peak covered tent hoping to cleanse the body but about two hours into the retreat people started collapsing."

"Nineteen people went to the hospital and two wound up dead," a 40 year old man from Milwaukee and a 38 year old woman from New York that is. Self-help author James Ray, writer of the book The Secret, lead the group. Like everyone else, they paid 10,000 dollars to spend this last part of the week with this religious guru, including their time in the sweat lodge where the target temperature was 120 degrees.

Sweat lodges are a part of Native American tradition practiced for centuries before we even knew about "golden paved" America. Mario Black Wolf, interviewed for this morning's show said if one uses bad materials such as plastics, it obviously causes toxic fumes unfit for puny human lungs.

They reported a medical expert said that if a body's core temperature reaches 104 degrees or over the body will start to break down cells which can lead to organ failure which can happen in as fast as twenty minutes. This man Ray has been conducting such "ceremonies" at the Angel Valley Retreat Center for seven years without any similar incidents, so he says.


Mr. Ray also decided it was not his place to talk to police investigators at the scene...

What sparked the polices' [puny] brains was the Twitter message Ray posted hours before the ceremony, "Still in Spiritual Warrior...for anything new to live, something first must die. What needs to die in you so that new life can emerge?" Oh you know, your whole being I guess.

Doesn't he just look like one of those fake religious assholes? ----------->

After the incident, Ray immediately deleted his holy twitter post with, "My deep heartfelt condolences to family & friends of those who lost their lives". I'd like to just side step for one second and make a comment that this guy has two options from my point of view: he can either write his first post on twitter, have his cleansing ceremony, and rejoice that people died for God or he can be a sane person and admit that his ceremony was dangerous, cruel, and his idea of a money seeking prank. Changing your mind so suddenly when it comes to religion, or politics that is, equals hypocrisy in my book.

So anyway, homicide investigators say it could be a few weeks before they know/decide if criminal charges will be filed which I'm hoping they will, this guy obviously needs a kick of reality right up his ass.

This is the kind of man that makes up his big, puffed up persona and uses it to take money from spiritual seeking people. 10,000 dollars?! Are you kidding me? Well I hope the families at least got refunded, but it doesn't seem the case. On behalf of the woman who died, her cousin and spokesperson, Tom McFeely, said that Ray nor anyone else in the organization has contacted them since the death. I guess there's the epitome of "take the money and run."

McFeely says, "It does surprise us, based on the type of man we thought he was". You think? This guy Ray isn't out there making millions of dollars thinking about the welfare of these people. He's making sure everything physically and economically is working out in his favor.

By the way I would like to point out that thousands of people die because of religious wars, religious ignorance, religious devotion, etc. etc. etc. It is really never ending. But it's not the wars and the crazy priests that set themselves on fire that make me angry, it's people like this man who are charismatic speakers, bringing in people like flies to a bug lamp, probably somewhat lying to their faces, that end up killing innocent people because of their own personal gain. It happens all the time and if people weren't so ignorant to religious conspiracy then they wouldn't fall into the trap that takes their lives.

Moral of the day: Don't spend 10,000 dollars to cleanse your body, you shouldn't have to pay to actually, truly do that for yourself, period.

Cop Shoots Homeowner Instead of Intruder, Wednesday October 7, 2009

If Americans say they would be scared if their house was being broken into, I would say I'd be more scared of being rescued than being robbed after reading this story.

This is a tragic story of stupidity, vulgarity, and more stupidity. Tony Arambula of Phoenix, Arizona cornered an armed intruder in his son's bedroom. He then called 911. Desperate and screaming in the phone for help, the 911 agent tries to calm him down while help is on the way.

Or so he thinks...

Instead, says Good Morning America, a Phoenix police officer confused Arambula for the intruder and shot him six times before realizing his mistake, a moment captured on the 911 call with a simple "Fuck."
Even after realizing their mistake, ABC reported, "Arambula said he was treated roughly, being dragged out of the house and transported briefly on the hood of a police car."
Wait... on the hood of a police car? I'm sorry but I'm definitely getting a visual of the poor guy in handcuffs placed in the middle of a suburban road and then run into by an angry cop.

Now Arambula, 35, who survived, (wait fer real? how many places can you shoot before its somewhere deadly?) but faces a lifetime of pain, is suing the city of Phoenix and the officers who responded to his house that night, Thank God.
The lawsuit, filed in Maricopa County Court, alleges that Phoenix Police Officer Brian Lilly and his on-scene supervisor, Sgt. Sean Coutts, quickly conspired to cover up the mistake, not realizing that 911 was still recording Arambula's call for help.

Of course they did! Didn't your mother ever tell you that cops are corrupt jerks? My mamma did. If you are interested in reading more about corruption in America's law enforcement, please direct yourself here. Here's a visual example --->

CLICK HERE to listen to Tony Arambula's 911 call to Phoenix police.
Lilly has been cleared of any wrong doing by the Phoenix Use of Force Board, but the Arambulas are suing the officer, Coutts, the city of Phoenix, the Phoenix police department and a number of unidentified emergency workers for at least $5.75 million.
"It's clearly unfortunate," said Officer Mark Spencer, president of the Phoenix Law Enforcement Association which represents 2,600 officers. "Our officers feel terrible this occurred."

Oh you feel terrible this happened? Really? Shouldn't you say something along the lines of I'm sorry but my agents are all racist idiots? That sounds better to me. I mean, your officer shot the man making the 911 call, that obviously means you employ thick headed pricks. This guy Spencer then goes to say this...

"Clearly where the blame lies is with the bad guy," Spencer said, adding that the intruder put "everyone at risk."

Let me repeat that for you, "clearly where the blame lies is with the bad guy" aka the intruder. I mean for freaks sake, can I say really enough? You mean the intruder that didn't hurt anyone but who was simply locked in a bedroom? No not the man with the loaded gun, the intruder. Oh, well now instead of thinking you employ stupid people, now I know you obviously do so because you yourself are a dimwitted imbecile. Way to go.

ABC then went on to say this...

As for Arambula's actions that night, Spencer said, "I don't think he did anything wrong." He added, "We agreed with the board's decision that the officer's response and action was reasonable within police policy." The city of Phoenix did not immediately respond to a request for comment. According to the lawsuit, Arambula, his wife Lesley and their two sons were at home when they heard two gunshots outside shortly before an intruder crashed through their front window and pointed a 9mm gun at Arambula and 2-year-old Zachary. The gunman, according to the lawsuit, then took off down the hall into 12-year-old Matthew's bedroom. Arambula, who had sent his wife and toddler outside the house, retrieved his own handgun and cornered the intruder who was shouting that "someone was after him and going to get him." After calling for Matthew, who had been hiding in his closet, and sending the boy outside, Arambula called 911 while continuing to point the gun at the intruder. Lesley Arambula also placed a call to 911 within seconds.

Well anyway, our moral of the day: Buy crash-resistant windows, lock your doors, and describe yourself to the person receiving your 911 call, if you have time that is, so she can relay that to the police officer coming to aid you.

The Olympics in Chicago, Friday October 2, 2009

Do you back the 2016 Olympic bid? Well, Chicagoans, you don't need to worry about that any more.

There he is, our angel coming down from heaven on a flying white unicorn. This picture was taken after President Obama gave his heartwarming speech today for the IOC (International Olympic Commitee) as well as his wife, Michelle.

Chicago 2016’s bid leader, Patrick Ryan talked a few weeks ago about the possibility of losing this race. He said it all — THREE YEARS and TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS in fund-raising/tax payer money/debt to cover expenses — would have been worth it.

Worth it eh? I was reading the Redeye today, and they reported that 47% of people were for the games and 45% of people were against them. Those kind of opposition numbers could certainly be cause for a riot/another war we can't afford to throw ourselves into...

VS

The people who made this lovely interpretation

Maybe the IOC didn't like the lack of support in Chicago... what with videos like this one floating around youtube like it aint no thang.

What Beatnik Babble Broadcast heard was that some members on the IOC didn't like the Obama's overly-business-like nature which could be quite probable. We have heard also that the IOC is crazy.

So with people sobbing over in the business district like this poor woman is about to do, what the hell is Chicago going to do with itself?

We are shamed. We are losers. And what does Mayor Daley have to say? He says he doesn't have anything up his sleeves for our awful, painful, ugly economy.
Lost in the IOC vote today were billions of dollars in construction contracts, potentially tens of thousands of jobs and a chance to remake large parts of the lakefront metropolis.



It was also a personal embarrassment for Mayor Richard Daley, who had pushed back against some strong local opposition and strong-armed the City Council into guaranteeing the financial portion of the city's bid. Also in the RedEye, Mr. Kurt Summers, who WAS the chief staff member for the olympics, said "If the people of Chicago weren't behind this, we wouldn't have gotten a resounding message of the City Council".

Oh yeah? Is that how you saw it Senor Kurt? I think that man is either stupid, or has been lying to himself for too long that he doesn't know his ass from his mouth. I'm not sure what went into having such a "resounding message" at city council, but it certainly wasn't the other HALF of the city that never wanted the games here in the first place.
So like I asked, what happens now? Representatives of the 2016 Committee said on many occasions at public meetings that this was the plan for jobs and prosperity for our future. There appears to be no plan B."

Way to go! Glad you gave thousands of people and companies HOPE for a brighter, greener future, but since it didn't work out, you've gone and fucked this city into a hole deeper than it was in the first place.

Moral of the day: Ask to be paid in cash, all of you. Save it in a safe at home. And screw taxes and Mayor Daley.