Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Disaster in American Samoa, Wednesday September 30, 2009

Yesterday an earthquake shook to the west of us when a fault rupture of between 124.3 and 186.5 miles, with one side of a fault moved almost 23 feet above the other, Gary Gibson, a seismologist at environmental monitoring company Environmental Systems and Services, said.
Good Morning America reported the 8.3-magnitude quake struck on Tuesday about 125 miles from Samoa at 6.48pm BST, sending a large wave into Apia, the capital of Samoa.
Residents of both Samoa and American Samoa, to the east, reported being shaken awake by the earthquake, which lasted two to three minutes and originated about 20 miles below the ocean floor. It was followed by at least three large aftershocks of at least 5.6 magnitude which later caused "surges" or recurring giant waves.
In Samoa, the wave reportedly sent water and debris surging up to 330 feet inland, leaving terrified residents fleeing their homes.
I could sadly not find the video I saw on the news this morning with raw footage of the second surge but I did find this History Channel video which will give you a little insight on tsunamis and also has a short clip of the one yesterday...

The death toll has now reached 99 people and there are still many missing. In Washington, President Obama has declared a major disaster for American Samoa. Obama said in a statement early Wednesday that he and his [tanned] wife "will keep those who have lost so much in our thoughts and prayers".
Hampered by power and communications outages, officials in the South Pacific islands struggled to determine damage and casualties. Pago Pago, another city in the area was also hit by huge waves. Joey Cummings of radio station 93KHJ in Pago Pago said that he and his fellow workers watched from a balcony as a 15-foot tsunami wave struck. He said he yelled for people to run uphill, "but they just ran down the street away from the wave rather than make a sharp left and up the steep mountain just feet away." Smart people derr, but I guess in the face of destruction and death many people would act idiotic.

A "river of mud" carried trees, cars, buses and boats past his building, which is practically at sea level, Cummings told the BBC. Some people searched for trapped survivors, he said,

but others looted stores (assholes).

Why do people have to take advantage of a natural disaster... this isn't Jumanji! Yes, thank you Robin Williams.
Anyway, what Beatnik Babble Broadcast wanted to explore the ways you could survive a tsunami. Well let's see, the obvious one would be what if you were in a boat? A boat might work, but you would have to be quite far off the shoreline since it is the most disaster-prone area, duh. But then again you wouldn't want to be above that fault line when it dropped, or probably anywhere near it.

The real question we've been meaning to ask is, what if a tsunami was on its way over, could you survive with arm floaties!?

YES! ... We mean, it is probable, but maybe not. We have new intel saying yes, you would float on top of the water with arm floaties. But be careful for trees, floating cars, buildings, rubble, and such. It might knock you unconscious and that, our friends, would be the source of your untimely death, not the use of arm floaties.

Moral of the day: Stay clear of areas around what the world is calling "the ring of fire" this is the most activity and destruction occurs... go to Florida or the Golf or something (but watch out for those hurricanes too!). Bring arm floaties with you everywhere you go, even wear them at all times just in case. Yes you may look stupid in your suit, whether the floaties be over or under your jacket, but it may save your life!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Berlusconi and Pres. Obama 'sun tan' Monday, September 28, 2009

Recently, Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi, well known for his media mess-ups, has once again made an inappropriate remark concerning our president, Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle Obama. A while back, Berlusconi tried to compliment President Obama by describing him as "young, handsome, and even has a good tan".

Berlusconi has caused plenty of commotion with inappropriate remarks frequently in the past.
ABC News reports, "among his greatest hits: In 2002, he raised eyebrows after saying, “Rasmussen [then Danish Prime Minister]-------------------------> is the most handsome prime minister in Europe. I’m thinking of introducing him to my wife,” and in 2003, he sparked uproar in the European Parliament when he compared the German socialist, Martin Schulz, to a Nazi.
What already seems like a long time ago, throughout this summer, he was entangled in a series of public sex scandals.
But back to Mrs. Michelle Obama, at the recent G-20 summit in Pittsburgh last Thursday, she

showed slight caution to Minister Berlusconi after giving everyone else a kiss on the cheek and then sticking out a stiff hand to the joker of politics. This was most likely due to the comment on her husband's "tan" earlier in the year.

This obviously didn't sit well with Berlusconi and when he returned home yesterday he was recorded saying to his conservative supporters that he was bringing greetings from, "what's his name? Some tanned guy. Ah, Barack Obama!"

He went on to include Mrs. Obama in his remarks. "You wouldn't believe it, but they go sunbathing on the beach together -- his wife is also sun-tanned." Maybe Berlusconi saw

this guy on a beach he visits ---------------->

ABC then went on to say that, "according to the Telegraph, Berlusconi did not mean to offend the Obamas and said, “His rapport with America's first black president was ‘easy-going' and described Mr. Obama as a ‘fine man’ with a 'good sense of irony.'"
Despite his supposedly innocent intentions, Berlusconi’s latest gaffe has generated mixed reviews from Italian residents. One Roman told the Associated Press that he believes Berlusconi “is deeply racist but he doesn't want to say it.”

Here at Beatnik Babble Broadcast, we commend Mr. Berlusconi! Politics these days are much too strict and narrow minded making everyone around them stressed out and tense. People like Bersconi bring semi-goodhearted relief to the world of politics. I certainly laughed out loud when I read that he commented on Obama's 'tan'. HILARIOUS! As for his sex scandals, well every old man or woman needs a little tickle once in a while (kidding, kidding! (kind of)).
President Obama should watch his sunbathing tendencies. It is estimated that 6 billion of the 6,706,993,152 people on the earth sunbathe and we believe he should set a good example for them. We have done research and found that it is harmful to your skin, it gives you wrinkles, thus making you look older and affecting your sex life (Berlusconi would not be happy!)
Although Mr. President has not shown any reluctance towards Prime Minister Bursconi, Mrs. Michelle certainly has a sore spot for him which has probably turned into a huge pus sore spot by now.

Today's moral: Don't comment on the Obama's tan, they don't want people to realize that Bersconi is actually right. Don't suntan, unless you plan on being celibate all your life.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Sunnyside girl almost crushed by car. Thursday, September 24, 2009

This past Sunday, a four year old cute-as-a-button little girl was almost crushed by a HUGE Toyota Camry -------->
in Sunnyside Washington. Isabel Hernandez, the 34 year old aspiring speed racer, was reported to have been parked in the Valley View Market lot before she accelerated at an exceeding high rate of speed in reverse (she was obviously trying to bring media attention to her new sport pitch before getting smacked with a huge reckless driving citation).

What she forgot to check for before she pulled a 'Kanye' aka an attention grabbing stunt, to further her own agenda, was behind her. While in reverse, little Yasmin Frausto was walking slightly behind her parents, coming out of the store as the Camry slammed into a parking pole which vaulted it in the air.

The situation was bleak and there was not much hope that the girl had not been instantly crushed by sheer stupidity. Amazingly, after the car took flight it landed on top of the next parking pole, saving Yasmin's little life. The clincher of the story is that Yasmin was afraid of her parents safety just as her parents were worried for her's since the three of them were unscathed on either side of the car.

Here at Beatnik Babble Broadcast we can show you this exclusive video of the almost-accident.

By the way, did anyone see the guy in the shorts to the left of the car after the crash just walk inside like nothing happened? That's why you don't do drugs. We did suggest that Isabel Hernandez be tested for drugs, alcohol, and stupidity overdose, but she was only found with the latter so the men in blue could only suspend her license. Good thing those parking poles were there!
The only intelligent thing that transpired was when Hernandez bought a Toyota Camry. The Camry is rated by MSN as one of the top 25 safest cars (and yes we understand that the safety rating of the Camry had little or nothing to do with Yasmin Frausto's life but we're just going to go with the flow). MSN saftey ratings are based upon accident avoidance, crash protection, and overall safety which is tested and calculated by a man with a Detroit trucker hat and a clipboard.

Yes the average American takes safety into consideration when purchasing a vehicle but associate editor for Car and Driver magazine Daniel Pund, says there's no such thing as a totally safe car... "because [we can't give bad drivers and assholes lessons]...," But Pund says government testing and legislation are trying to iron that out. "For example, they're all now required to have air bags. Vehicles are safer today than they were 15 or 20 years ago [but the driver's aren't]. There's no question that cars are better designed these days to handle crashes."
Today's Moral: Don't buy cars from GM because their safety measures are below those of their competitors and put parking poles around your entire yard (if you have one, just in front of the windows and doors is fine).

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Monday, September 21, 2009

Terrorism in US, Monday, September 21, 2009

Over my enjoyable weekend of 3 year old birthday parties, bad Mexican food, and lack of sleep, the FBI was working all hours to arrest Najibullah Zazi, a 24 year old airport shuttle driver, apparently for plots against the US, I mean New York, or maybe just the NY football stadium.

ABC News reports that "authorities say [this plot] was 'the real deal'... agents say they discovered nine pages of handwritten notes in Zazi's computer with details on how to make a homemade bomb"

>>>>>>>>>>>>Maybe it was like this one>>>>>

Supposedly, after I'm sure a brutal torturing/questioning, he admitted the notes were his and that he received training in Pakistan about weapons and explosives. I think they said the school was named "MAKE BOMBS HERE" but our government decided not to look into that...

So what's the other proof? Law enforcement and [un]intelligen[t] officials say that Zazi has gone to Pakistan in August 2008 and January 2009 but that he maintained he was only there to visit his wife. Apparently the text messages that said "the wedding cake is ready" meant that he was ready to make something explode.


It's not that Beatnik Babble Broadcast is for terrorism, not at all! It is just in my experience of news/government/terrorism that you don't believe everything you hear. Take for example the attacks on New York on the date September 11, 2001, you've all heard of it, yeah? Well, it might just be me, but do you guys remember the government plastering TERROR SUSPECT IN CUSTODY, TERROR SUSPECT ARRESTED all over the newspapers? Yeah? Well then you have to remember that not one of them was jailed for actually being a terror suspect.

They ran America in circles so we thought that they were getting somewhere.

So... I guess this might be a little off topic but do you remember all the attacks during 9/11? There was the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, that field in Pennsylvania, and Building 7. So ummm, the attack on all these buildings/areas happened at the same time. They were the same terrorist attack. One of the most pivotal points as to why I don't trust the government and American News is because... what happened to building 7?

The facts are there but the answers to American questions are not! So building 7 fell like it was a controlled demolition. When American's noticed that, the government tried convincing them of the 'fire theory' but that didn't work because not all of us are immensely stupid. The fact is, that in the 9/11 commission report, building 7 isn't even mentioned! WTF?! Not to mention that the giant hole in the ground in Pennsylvania had no plane parts, I guess the explosion/fuel incinerated everything. And I'm sure if you'd like to look into the attack on the Pentagon, you would find the same results.

If you would like to see a wonderful documentary on the subject, go here. It looks like our government finally allowed this video to be put back on googlevideos.

But anyway, we do indeed have a new president who at least has less of an angle to his approval rate graph unlike someone we used to know...

And President Obama doesn't seem like he needs a fake mass catastrophe to get America behind him so it is doubtful that 'officials' are making up that this guy Zazi has ties to Al Queda. I'm just saying beware, don't just take everything the 6pm news tells you and call it the truth with a gold plaque.

But just so we're clear, this is technically a conspiracy theory and therefore should be treated as one.

Today's moral: If you would like to change almost the entire American constitution, scare the bejesus out of everyone in the nation by blowing up some buildings and blame it on another country.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Murder or Not? Saturday, September 19, 2009

Murder has been apart of human existence since before written history, sadly. But this week in the on going cycle of life, there are two deaths Beatnik Babble Broadcast wants to discuss: the deaths of Max Gilpin and Annie Le.

Yesterday High School coach David Jason Stinson, was acquitted of the murder of student Max Gilpin. The story goes that Mr. Coach was pissed off that his team was being lazy (we heard through the grapevine that he even called them expert slackmasters). Therefore, Mr. Coach saw it appropriate that he run the bejesus out of the kids in 94 degree weather. Would you want to do sprints in that weather? Hell no! I most certainly would have quit before I got outside, but that's beside the point. Actually it's not really beside the point because I agree with the decision of the jury, not guilty.

So yes, this guy had these kids running in crazy weather. Yes, they were vomiting and gross stuff like that. But, as I pointed out before I wouldn't have even gone outside! I'd probably have said Eff you Coach, I got homework to do! If you had the balls to go through with this workout, don't you think there would be some point where you might be like 'hmmm I think I need to cool down'? Don't people have natural instincts? YES! T
HEY DO! So, To be Murder? Or Not to be Murder? Definitely not murder (not completely sensible, but not murder).

So what is the opposite of a not guilty verdict? He's named
Raymond Clark the III, emphasis on 'the III'. Look at that happy picture. Funny-faced Mr. Clark with his happy looking fiance. Nothing better than planning a wedding right? Wrong!

Nothing better than a missing person, love affair, murder investigation? Right. Says Abc News, this guy has a huge mountain of forensic evidence saying that 'he done it'.

Why? He was a sexually frustrated individual who liked to control the other science geeks at the lab and who was turned on by Asians. Maybe, maybe not. The fact is that the people who run this investigation feel stupidity, oops I mean that they don't think a motive is necessary.

So the question is, will/can the defense build up a big enough case saying the murder site was contaminated and evidence tampered with even though Miss Annie Le's body was probably starting to decompose five feet away? Maybe, maybe not.

But seriously, that's the hard truth of it. Defense wounds, DNA, campus cards, etc. Murder or not? Definitely murder. Will that translate to life in prison? Our statistics PC has confirmed that this has a 96% probability that it won't because our system likes to charge the wrong people with terrorist crimes than real murderers for heartless actions such as stuffing a 24 year old, engaged grad student into a lab wall (no less found on what would have been her wedding day).

Today's moral:
When its hot outside drink lots of water. When it's late, go home. If you have a douche bag for a high school football coach, tell him to suck it and spank his ass. If he follows you, leave lots of evidence that you abducted him and stash him, duct taped, in a wall, with holes of course for breathing.