Murder or Not? Saturday, September 19, 2009

Murder has been apart of human existence since before written history, sadly. But this week in the on going cycle of life, there are two deaths Beatnik Babble Broadcast wants to discuss: the deaths of Max Gilpin and Annie Le.

Yesterday High School coach David Jason Stinson, was acquitted of the murder of student Max Gilpin. The story goes that Mr. Coach was pissed off that his team was being lazy (we heard through the grapevine that he even called them expert slackmasters). Therefore, Mr. Coach saw it appropriate that he run the bejesus out of the kids in 94 degree weather. Would you want to do sprints in that weather? Hell no! I most certainly would have quit before I got outside, but that's beside the point. Actually it's not really beside the point because I agree with the decision of the jury, not guilty.

So yes, this guy had these kids running in crazy weather. Yes, they were vomiting and gross stuff like that. But, as I pointed out before I wouldn't have even gone outside! I'd probably have said Eff you Coach, I got homework to do! If you had the balls to go through with this workout, don't you think there would be some point where you might be like 'hmmm I think I need to cool down'? Don't people have natural instincts? YES! THEY DO! So, To be Murder? Or Not to be Murder? Definitely not murder (not completely sensible, but not murder).

So what is the opposite of a not guilty verdict? He's named Raymond Clark the III, emphasis on 'the III'. Look at that happy picture. Funny-faced Mr. Clark with his happy looking fiance. Nothing better than planning a wedding right? Wrong!

Nothing better than a missing person, love affair, murder investigation? Right. Says Abc News, this guy has a huge mountain of forensic evidence saying that 'he done it'.

Why? He was a sexually frustrated individual who liked to control the other science geeks at the lab and who was turned on by Asians. Maybe, maybe not. The fact is that the people who run this investigation feel stupidity, oops I mean that they don't think a motive is necessary.

So the question is, will/can the defense build up a big enough case saying the murder site was contaminated and evidence tampered with even though Miss Annie Le's body was probably starting to decompose five feet away? Maybe, maybe not.

But seriously, that's the hard truth of it. Defense wounds, DNA, campus cards, etc. Murder or not? Definitely murder. Will that translate to life in prison? Our statistics PC has confirmed that this has a 96% probability that it won't because our system likes to charge the wrong people with terrorist crimes than real murderers for heartless actions such as stuffing a 24 year old, engaged grad student into a lab wall (no less found on what would have been her wedding day).


Today's moral: When its hot outside drink lots of water. When it's late, go home. If you have a douche bag for a high school football coach, tell him to suck it and spank his ass. If he follows you, leave lots of evidence that you abducted him and stash him, duct taped, in a wall, with holes of course for breathing.